Seven Innovative and Low-cost Ways of Marketing your Book

1. Put it in the tray when going through security at the airport. Explain to the guards that it's absolutely not a risk to national security whatsoever.
2. Turn the title into a cheerful well-wishing, e.g. 'Have a glassy day, worldians!' or 'Upwards and out of the darkness, my friends!'
3. Strap a copy to your chest when shopping, touching it occasionally and uttering a sound of religious devotion like 'whoopiteewoo'.
4. Pretend to read it at the bus stop, laughing and crying uncontrollably before telling fellow passengers that this book has changed your life.
5. Paper your bathroom with it, then invite friends to a meal at your house and slip a diuretic or laxative into their food.
6. Get a parrot from the pet shop, teach it to say the best lines from your book, then return it to the pet shop complaining that it keeps spouting nonsense.
7. Pulp it and use it to fill potholes because that's how roads read books.

Three Additional Writing Prompts for Uneasy Fiction

At last, three more writing prompts for those weird, unsettling stories you've been dying to tell.

1. With but one score to settle in all your long years, you pass away. Stars swirl. You are reincarnated as a creature with two heads. The other head is occupied by the person you detested in your last life. Your thoughts and identity are mingled with theirs. What happens? How does it feel to be one with and inseparable from this awful person? How does the situation resolve itself?

2. Awakening from a revolting dream, you leap out of your bed unable to believe what you felt. You look at the bed. It seems normal. You touch it. It feels like writhing maggots. With disgust, you tear off your pyjamas. They feel the same. All touch has infected with this horrible effect. What do you do? How do you live?

3. Entering a covered market complete with fruit stalls, children's cheap clothing and a whole slaughtered pig bearing an expression of hideous anguish, you hear a voice, "Hey, you've been before. Don't you remember? It was horrible! You shouldn't be here! Get away! Run!" You stare at the pig's twisted face in silent horror and then turn and bolt, but the voice doesn't stop whispering. Finally, you summon the courage to speak back. What do you say?

I hope those disturbing thoughts help you on your way! By all means comment or e-mail me with the result! You can see my other writing prompts for uneasy fiction by clicking here.